At some point in life, everyone will face criticism. We may try to avoid it because it is unpleasant and poses numerous threats to our lives. Criticizing can amplify stress, anxiety, frustration, and grief.
We may encounter critics at home, school, college, or work, which can harm our relationships with others and make us depressed if we do not know how to deal with them.
Not all critics are harmful to us. It all depends to our mindset and how we react and respond to situations.
Criticism is divided into two categories: deserved criticism and undeserved criticism. We may all face these in our lives. Underserved Criticism hurts far more than what we deserve.
Let's take a look at the rules to follow when we are criticised.
I will start with the rules for underserved Criticism, then we will be looking at the rules that apply to both of them, and finally we'll look at the rules that you shall apply specifically to your deserved Criticisms.
Rule 1
Handling critics subtly
Underserved Criticisms hurt us a lot and make us feel even more depressed because we are being chastised for the sake of someone else or for mistakes that occurred without our knowledge. This is primarily due to misunderstandings or traps set by our adversaries.
Understand that we can never force others to change their minds; all we can do is help them find the right path. Stop blabbering about your innocence and whining about other things.
If you are going to prove something, don't tell anyone. Make it so innocuous that no one will notice. Because, if you have fallen into the traps of your adversaries, explicitly attempting to prove them wrong arouses opposing side and forces them to battle you before you even begin.
Only when you deal with your critics gently and tactfully. We may force people to admit that you are correct. This rule can be applied in situations such as false deformations that come against you and problems that arise due to things that are completely out of your control but are very important to you. And situations that can have a significant impact on your career and reputation.
Rule 2
Ignoring critics
This rule only applies to situations with no bearing on your life and to critics you do not deserve. When some people criticise you for doing something different that may have an indirect impact on them. Then people shoot their words at you like an arrow, piercing and hurting you. Their primary goal is to make you feel bad for making the right decision for your life.
In that situation, their harsh words stress you out. Let's look at a story to help us with this.
Once upon a time, a sage was meditating beneath a tree. An elderly man approached him and chastised him for preaching contrary to his beliefs. He began yelling at him, but the sage said nothing to the ignorant old man. Following this, the old man screamed angrily at the sage. This time, too, the sage sat patiently under the trees, enjoying the cool breeze of dusk.
After a few minutes, the old man became enraged and yelled at him even louder. However, the sage remained silent. The old man then asked the sage, "Hey, I'm shouting at you, don't you have ears and feelings, why are you not responding to me?"
"I do not deserve your rebukes, hence why I remained silent," the sage said quietly. The old man was taken aback and inquired, "How could you?" "Sir, I have never seen anyone like you in my life; if someone scolded them, they would become enraged, but you remain calm. How could this be possible for you?"
To help the old man understand what the sage was saying, the sage told him a story. Assume your friend is getting married, you are attending his wedding, and you are now giving them your wedding gift, which you had purchased for them. You're making an attempt to present them, but they're uninterested. And you persuaded them even further to accept your gift. They continued to refuse. You then attempted but failed again. What would you do in this situation? You would obviously be disappointed and return home with the gift.
The sage continued, "If you don't deserve something, ignore it." They will try to persuade you even more, but if you resist, they will be disappointed and withdraw their harsh reprimands. The old man understood and followed the sage's teachings.
This story has provided you with a solid understanding. But knowledge would be meaningless. You should use it in your life to see remarkable results and defeat your opponents.
It is always simple to understand, but more difficult to put into practise. You're not going to be able to keep your cool on the first try. Strive to be like the sage in your lives. however, This will make your life easier. You will disappoint people, and once you have done so, they will never criticise you for things in which you are not involved.
Never take their words personally and respond to them; everything will go wrong the moment you do. This is what your adversaries anticipate from you. Never ever meet their expectations and make them to flee from you.
This is the most important and difficult rule to follow; it is more powerful than any other. That is why I elaborated to make you aware of it.
Now we are entering into the rules which are common to both of them
Rule 3
Be patient
When confronted with criticism, we lose our temper and peace of mind, raising our blood pressure and anxiety. Then we'll be prone to using harsh words, which will end up backfiring. The consequences will become cruel.
When we are stressed, we gradually lose our ability to think and make decisions. So, even if you are triggered to react and respond to them, try to be patient. Being patient is difficult, but it is possible with mindfulness, meditation, yoga, and other exercises.
By being patient, you protect your reputation among your rivals. Even if you are a good person, if you have not been patient and have shouted at others. Nobody is going to like you. So, Be patient when you are criticized by someone else and never rush to respond them.
Rule 4
Respond politely
When you are stressed, you are unable to think clearly, as I previously stated. During that time, pay attention to your inner thoughts rather than other people's criticism, whether you deserve it or not.
Think twice before communicating with them, because your words are extremely important at this time. It also determines whether critics will be subdued or escalated.
Even if people are insulting you, respond politely; I know this sounds difficult and unusual. Only one percent of people do this, and if you want a good reputation, you must be part of that one percent. Nothing is impossible; if you respond politely and respectably, the people who have hurt you will be uncomfortable standing in front of you. They will be responsible for your pain and may apologise for it. Try this out once.
These are the final two rules, which are only to be used under the conditions of the critics that you deserve and that you require in order to advance in your lives.
Rule 5
Admit critics
If you are chastised for your mistakes, you truly deserve it.
Never, ever try to justify your mistakes.
Critics may include your parents, teachers, professors, friends, or anyone else who wishes you well. Consider that they are only criticising you in order to help you improve and live a happier life. Learn to appreciate their concern for you.
Their sole purpose in criticising you is to make you aware of your error. Even if it is painful for you. Admit it quickly, sincerely, and enthusiastically. Because that is what the people want from you. Don't be ignorant, and improve your life by correcting yourself. It will be bitter otherwise.
Feel sorry for it and while admitting do it more emphatically do not be careless try to devote your full attention to them.
Let me tell you something interesting if you are being criticised for your mistakes and their words are really hurting you. If you have the opportunity to criticise someone for their flaws, try not to do so for them. Their intentions are correct, but the manner in which they express them is incorrect. In another article, we will discuss how to criticise people correctly.
Rule 6
Criticize yourself
When you make a mistake, criticise yourself; this is known as self criticism.
It is always much better to listen to one's own criticism than it is to bear rebuke from foreign lips.
This is an excellent strategy for dealing with reasonable criticism. People would feel sorry for you and stop shouting at you.
Do not try to act because people will easily detect it because our communication relies 90% on nonverbal communication and 10% on verbal communication. So be cautious if you are following these rules correctly.
Let me know in the comments which rule is your favourite and which one you are aware of and applying in your daily lives.
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